“Am I dreaming?”
Of course, I am not, Its more of a dream coming to reality, though months before, it seemed to be a vision which I think could only happen to us in dreams or through a miracle, notwithstanding the hurdles that we had passed before we finally made it here – the pressures of everyday living, the negative feelings of anxiety, fear, doubt and exhaustion, the responsibilities our family members have toattend to… The list could be endless. Yet through it all, God has given our family this precious gift – a miracle to remind us to trust in Him no matter what.
This reminded me of the many trials I encountered in the past of which I thought there were no solutions.Way back year 1989,my husband lost his job in the government.His superiors were not happy with him because he did not sign papers for "Ghost Deliveries".My children were still very young at that time.
"To rear seven children without stable income is not an easy task,you know..."
Both of us were jobless because I resigned when I had my first born. I preferred to take care of my kids and family than having my job in the office. We had only a small sari-sari store, a motorcab, a little income from the coconut land and a boarding house I inherited from my parents. The income was sufficient for us at the beginning. But when my children grew up and reached college, we were buried in debts. Our land titles were loaned at the bank and all our jewelries were pawned. It was terribly, financially hard up for us that time, to the point that I would even ask myself, “Where shall I find rice to cook for our next meal?”
However, through that hard time, we stood still devoted to the Lord. We were active with our membership in Couples for Christ (CFC) and in our parish and chapel. My husband is a Lay Minister. I am a Catechist while our children joined the Knights of the altar and the church choir. We used to attend mass together when my children were still young.
“Para nga kaming train, dahil do-re-mi ang gap nila, just imagine!”(We were like a train, my children’s gap is very successive, just imagine!)
Yet inspite of our faith in God, the troubles that we had, had affected my health to the extent that I woke up one morning to find out my two legs were trembling and I had no control on them. My heart beats so fast and it was hard for me to breathe. I really did not understand what was going on in me. My doctor said,“What you have was due to the anxieties and worries. Try to loosen up a bit and have fun!”
She prescribed me a nerve relaxant. I felt calm every time I take the medicine but when its effect relapsed, the symptoms kept on coming back. So I relied on the medicine for a long period of time.
Meanwhile in CFC, we have signed a covenant that covered “to read the scriptures everyday for at least fifteen minutes”. One day, while I was reading the bible I came across Isaiah 41:10 that struck me much. It goes:
“Do not be afraid – I am with you!
I am your God – let nothing terrify you!
I will make you strong and help you;
I will protect you and save you.”
From then on, I memorized the verse. I say it with faith every time I have the “attack”. I realized that I felt calm and relaxed as I uttered the verse.
There was also one time when my eldest son, who is a special child, had his legs beaten up by a bad guy in their school that made him lame for several days. Due to the event, he had tantrums everyday. He threw everything that he can grab. He broke our table glass as well as our cassette player. He even tore the T-shirt that he was wearing. He bumped his head on the wall many times while uttering bad words. He used to lock up himself in his room and destroyed anything he finds. He does not take a bath or go with us to church, as he used to. I had a difficult time consoling him to calm down. What’s more difficult with the ordeal that I am in is when I am alone, handling his tantrums while my other children were in school. My hubby Lito was in Carmona, Cavite at that point in time, and a casual employee of Manila Southwoods.
The psychiatrist who examined him prescribed various kinds of vitamins and plenty of a certain kind of medicine that is usually given to drug addicts. But he became worse that we decided to bring him to Manila for further management.
Despite my anguish, I did not give up my devotion to the Lord. I even discovered that the more I read the Bible, the more courageous and strengthened I become. Among the verses that comforted me much were: “I am with you always” (Matthew 28:20), “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask in prayer” (Matthew 21:22), “I have strength to face all conditions by the power of Christ that gives me”(Philippians 4:13) “Let it happen then as you believe”(Matthew 9:29), “I am telling you the truth; those who believes in me will do what I do – yes, they will do even greater things” (John 14:12), “Everything is possible for the person who has faith” (Mark 9:23), “I assure you that whoever tells this hill to get up and throw itself in the sea and does not doubt in his heart, but believes what he says will happen, it will be done for him” (Mark 11:23) and “Whoever believes in him will not be disappointed” (Romans 10:11)
Once, I was a drug dependent but by constantly reading these verses, my faith deepened. I decided to stop all my medications. I was determined to train my mind to believe – erase all the doubts in my thoughts.
“God is not a liar, Isn’t He?”
“Yes, indeed! My faith in Him worked! Praise the Lord!”
Proven as effective, I applied the same to my son. I stopped all his medications and instead I have him “prayed over” everyday. Now, you can talk to my 31 – year old special son who can speak English – a legacy he got from his special education teacher, Sister Clement, a Columban nun who had now returned to Ireland. “We missed her very much… I owe to her the progress of my son!”
But even then, my problems didn’t wane. For almost three years, I suffered hemorrhage. My stay in the hospital was unbearable since it involves a lot of money. I had gone twice to Cebu for several check-up from different doctors, yet their diagnosis turned out to be the same – I had a growing cyst inside my womb. I submitted myself for Dilatation and Curettage (D&C), but still the bleeding continued.
As I was taking the medicines the doctors recommended me, it so happened that I read the drug literature of the injections and tablets they constantly gave me. I learned that prolong usage of it could have an adverse reaction that results to blindness. I even had a cousin who took the same vials and tablets I had. She is now experiencing blurred vision.
“Lord”, I prayed. “I do not want to be blind!”
From then on, I discontinued everything, even check – ups. I recuperated at home. My two elder sisters who had hemorrhage months earlier were already operated. They had their wombs removed.
“But I don’t want any operation!”
So, I prayed. During my hard prayers, a vision flashed in my mind many times. I was always reminded of that woman in the Bible who suffered for 12 years of severe bleeding. She who had said to herself,“If only I could touch His cloak, I will get well!” With my eyes closed, I could imagine clearly myself as that woman touching the edge of Jesus’ cloak.
“Courage my daughter, your faith has made you will” Jesus said to the woman. (Matthew 9:20-22) by God’s mercy, my womb is still intact right now and the bleeding ceased.
Yes, I am a witness to God’s miracles. And once again, He had revealed again himself to us through this Bible Quiz. The experience in Manila itself is a very great blessing for us.
I remembered when we were on our way to Teriyaki Boy, where we had our supper, one of our guides from the Secretariat told us;
“Sa dalawang beses na ginanap ang National Catholic Family Bible Quiz dito, laging kulelat ang mga taga – Mindanao!” (For the past two National Catholic Family Bible Quiz held here, participants from Mindanao were always at the bottom!”)
During the rehearsal before the program started, we had time to meet the other families from different regions. Looking at them, I felt a little bit nervous specially that there was a rumor about our two competitors’ backgrounds; one is an ex-pastor and the other is an ex-seminarian.
“Oh my God!” I exclaimed “We are also outnumbered by them!” I whispered to my daughter who was seated at my right side. Mary Grace comforted me by sighting 1 Maccabees 3:19 “Victory in battle does not depend on who has the largest army; it is the Lord’s Power that determines the outcome.”
Deep inside, I prayed hard and remained to my most favorite passage – Matthew 21:22
“But let thy will be done, Lord” I ended.
Before the proclamation of the winners, the NCFBQ chairwoman, Madam Elvira Yap Go gave on the spot different verses for the family to read and to share what is in the verses that struck them the most. Ours was taken from St. Luke 4:16 – 18. When I read the phrase, “The spirit of the Lord is upon me”, I was assured that very moment that our prayers have been granted and that’s it!
“Praise the Lord! All the glory be to Him forever and ever! Amen!”
more info participants of the third national catholic family bible quiz (NCFBQ) mindanao: 567 families from 17 dioceses, Visayas: 211 families from 11 dioceses, South Luzon 62 families from 8 dioceses, North Luzon 122 families from 13 dioceses North Capital region 77 families from 7 dioceses.
